Yes, that is probably one of the more brilliant songs i’ve heard today. I really respect songwriters (even though dhani harrison doesn’t really fit into that category). It’s way harder to write something delicate and beautiful than to practice scales and learn how to shred. It seems to me that maybe songwriting isn’t something learned…
I’m still going to Coachella. So is Thenewno2.
Excitement.
Well i was originally gonna come on here and just start ranting about things because that’s how i do but first i think i need to say that my ranting will never amount to anything half as clever as that of Bukowski’s works in any way which are just so much more visionary than anything i will ever need to say.
Having said that, here is the song of the post:
This is a band by the name of Battles and the song is called Atlas. This song is probably the most epic thing I have personally ever heard. The singer is probably one of the greatest concentrators i have ever seen in my life. how would you even concieve of singing through that vocal effect? you’d be permanently trying to falsetto along with it and then it’d sound dumb. but here this guy is, executing it absolutely verbatum. Seriously, this band is the most technical, most beautiful example of math rock..ever. Frankly, I’m proud to say i’m a human if that’s the only thing i have in common with these people because that’s just amazing.
Well, looks like the weather is finally coming to a close for the next two days until it picks up again for next weekend in a turn of events which has left me so thoroughly discontented with myself and my life that i hardly wish to express it but for your sake, i’ll let you in on this: I was supposed to go to mammoth this weekend. I was planning on taking a few friends, hitting the powder for three days on our long weekend and loving every single moment of my life until i found out I have two shifts this coming weekend and I can’t really take them off again. Fuck. my. life. I don’t even want to check how much snow has been dumped on that mountain. that’s just unfair and i want to cry myself to sleep now.
But there are things to look forward to: thursday Ethan and i are going to mt. high (i’ve never been there before so that should be a cool experience). Also, I bought myself the cooliest fucking pair of shoes/sandals ever. 
well mine aren’t exactly like these ones but i think you get the point. here is the breakdown: shoe canvas tops, sandal soles. The ultimate beach bum shoes. They’re actually the most comfortable shoes i’ve ever worn and they look cooler than Crocs so I can deal. I mean personally i think they look good too. but i’m usually wrong about things. I don’t think i am this time. I like em, quit judging me.
that’s pretty much all i have to say, Till next time:
Because i haven’t been using this as much as i should be, i figured that tonight i should leave a little somethin somethin for whoever it is who checks this thing every night because i know you exist and i want you to know that i know that.
So my life is slowly feeling more complete and I think it may have a lot to do with certain people who I am no longer in contact with whose non-presence makes my life feel so much easier to deal with. I mean no disrespect, you’re a cool person when you want to be but I wish you felt like trying a bit harder with your relationships with people instead of just giving up all the time. And the saddest part is you think you’re so happy when you sit behind your veil of smugness and look down at others who don’t see eye to eye with you or you don’t stand up for what you believe in because your worried that you might have to express your own opinions about things and maybe people will judge you for it. Now.. Now i feel a lot better.
So news: somehow Dunlop decided to send me a Cry Baby for free. that was cool and there is a story behind it but i don’t want to talk about it. chances are i already told you anyway.
I bought my three day pass to Coachella and i want to cry because i’m so fucking excited. Amy and her man are going, Brent is going, Taras has to buy his ticket, Alex and Daisey are waiting on Alex now so (get on it!!). Beirut (above) is there too and that makes me go all like: !!!. But i don’t like morissey that much. whatever.
It’s forecast rain from tomorrow till saturday and I’m all like XD because i loves it.
I’m too happy to concentrate right now. goodbye.
Two things amazing happened today. I had a really great day and I was genuinly excited to do all the things that I usually hate to do. I really enjoyed going to school, going to Mrs. Rivas’s class, I enjoyed seat change in Imlay’s class, I even enjoyed the company of someone I know thinks she would be happier if she didn’t ever know me (I mean, she probably doesn’t think that all the time.. But I know once or twice she has – and that’s fine with me). So there I go, having my good day when things started to go wrong. I can’t find anyone to cover for me at work which could sabotage my weekend and then when I got home I felt absolutely horrible and I had to fall asleep for I think it was about an hour and a half or two hours. But other than that, everything is dandy. I never realized that I like the postal service until Taras made that amazing cover and we listened to the band almost all night.
In music related news, I am excited to say Taras, Jordan, and I have written a really cool song and with any luck, we should be able to record it in a couple weeks after we sus out some minor issues and work on making it as interesting and beautiful as possible. Oh yes, and i got a new rug last night. It really ties the room together.
So I must yet again start this off with Bruce. But with a different sentiment. You ever get that feeling where shivers get sent down your spine? That always happens to me when I listen to Born to Run.. but i figured this song is more meaningful to me right now. But enough of this.
I passed my test which was a big fucking surprise. I’m just relieved to find that I won’t have to file for unemployment this month as I was anticipating. However, I am dismayed to say that my good pal Spencer is not recession-proof and he will be missed. What I said still stands by the way, I’m not sticking up for chain restaurants. They all suck, whether their food is good or not.
Okay now i know that was a bold statement, but let me defend it.. I am generally opposed to the idea of chain restaurants (with a lot of exeptions) or chain stores or whatever. What ever happened to the days when if you wanted or needed something you had to go to a specialist? My dad was telling me the other day about life in the 60s and he said something that tripped me the fuck out. He said that if he wanted a suit he had to go to a tailor who would take his directions on the suit and would fit it to him and do all this shit for dirt cheap because that was the profession and there wasn’t this “one size fits all” mentality. So I dunno, I don’t really care to fully clarify myself seeing as though I have this inkling feeling that Rosiee is the only one who reads this anyway.
If you feel like you want to throw a brick at my head now, I cannot say neigh, just gimmie a bit of warning first. And take away with you this wisdom:
There is a horrible cliche that states that “life isn’t measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away”
I can’t stand this kind of stuff. It’s exactly what I’m taking about too- why is it that we intelligent beings can’t be resourceful enough to try to come up with new and innovative ways to express ourselves and we must resort to using these kinds of pathetic attempts at wit or insight or whatever the hell you’d call this kind of behaviour.
So to you I say: “life is not measured by those who don’t own rulers.”
Good day.
This is really one of the greatest songs ever recorded, written by one of my favorite artists – Bruce Springsteen (who is also, somewhat ironically, known as The Boss). I don’t have much I can say about Bruce that he hasn’t already spent the past thirty years trying to explain to his audience so all I can really say is you better open your mind to the following couple albums to find out more about the guy if you’re one of those folks who have heard of the Boss but have never listened to the Boss. Born to Run (as pictured above), The Ghost of Tom Joad, Magic, and while you’re at it – buy his new album coming out in a few days Working on a Dream.
Even though I have been listening to Bruce pretty solidly since I fell in love with him at his show in Anaheim last year; I was reminded of the man more recently when he spent such a great deal of effort in support of Barack Obama as Bruce is probably more a “champion of the common man” than Andrew Jackson. But to cut to the point, it is this idea of a unifying bond that we all share in common that so excites me about people like Bruce and Obama. Really, for the first time since I’ve been able to understand politics and what it means to be an American, I’m actually proud to say that I live in this country. More than that, I’m proud to entertain the thought that it doesn’t take tragedy alone to unify our people, just a common dream and yesterday I think all of us saw it. It was the hope that we can get 2 million or more people to take part in this monumental occasion which was drenched in enthusiasm. The last time the country was able to rally around a cause as far as I can remember was after 9/11 and that was the result of fear, violence, and perpetuated by not a common hope, but a common enemy. So yes, at the inauguration of Obama, I saw the face of hope for the first time in American politics and in the American people. It’s a really touching feeling to know that there can be so much goodness, so much unity, and togetherness.
In fact, it was so strong an emotion, so profuse of a bliss, I almost forgot the immediate evils of the people that surround me… well, that is to say, one person in particular who obviously remained untouched by all of this as I walked in to the doors of Red Robin yesterday evening. I don’t know her last name, although I really would like to find out because I have a couple formal complaints I would be really interested to file to Corporate. For the sake of her remaining anonymous, I’ll reffer to her as Suzy.
To clarify, in brief, Suzy told me last week (last wednesday) that on tuesday (yesterday) I would have to take a series of tests that would prove my competancy in the “preparation” of to-go orders. She also added that should I not be able to take or to pass the test within six days, I would no longer be scheduled hours until work picked up and my services were yet again necessary which essentially means that she is not going to fire me, providing me the benefit of filing for unemployment, and she is not going to be keeping me so I will therefore be financially “fucked” as it is said. Needless to say, after six days of study, I found that I was to be not only tested on the material that I didn’t pass when we first took these tests in June, I would need to take the additional portion of the test which I had previously passed which was a computer competency portion. This was no problem for me in June because I had been using the computers regularly until that point and since then I have been unable to get regular practice as I am not technically allowed on a computer as a part of my job since I didn’t pass another portion of the test in June.
So to get back to my story, yesterday I did very poorly on that segment of the test while I believe that I scored very adequately on the other, more difficult, portion of the test. So, knowing that I failed the computer segment, I can with great certainty say that I am to be unemployed as of saturday afternoon when my last shift will presumably be worked before I am taken off of the schedule “indefinately.” I am not going to say that this isn’t a self inflicted wound to a certain degree as it was my lethargy that prevented me from passing this test when I was obviously more competent. What really dissuaded me from trying until these last few weeks has been this: I believe I am an intelligent person and I do not try to hold that above anyone because I know that what I know is virtually nothing compared to that of others – but I do believe that I am a thoughtful individual, and (simply put) feel I should be treated as one.
Supported by a text book knowledge of company protocol, corporate mandates, and a vindictive personality type, people such as Suzy manipulate and ultimately abuse the slim sliver of power they think they hold and wield it as a mighty weapon over the heads of those who don’t live up to the quota in the most mundane of ways. They sit in the back room and they make the schedules. They push the paper and they push the workers and when can we honestly cite that at any one, convincing moment in Red Robin history (at least within the walls of #56) in which any push back was made? I can only see the opposition acting in ways which ultimately benefit the managment by quitting their job and maybe uttering a couple disgrentled words from their lips as they take off their shirt and step out the door on their last shift. But really my question is: why do they think the power they hold is so crucial? why do they feel like they are so important to the company that they can hold on to all of the Core Values and operate based on policies which dissaprove of individuality and impose the moral views of a small few? Why do they think the phones should be answered with the same canned expressions? Why do they want you to say the same exact thing to every single guest, crushing any attempt at legitimate friendliness? because they’re the ones holding the string attached to the dollar bill which is so, pricelessly out of reach of the innocent 3rd grader. When you think about it, their condescent is the most ironic, disgusting part of the whole system because are they not just the same as that poor kid they are employed to manipulate? If you don’t cut your hair before it hits your collar, if you forget a pin (heaven forbid you forget your nametag), if you can’t quite remember the definition of a “smiling burger,” if you can’t seem to remember how to ring in the garden burger so you are forced the indignity of asking one of the more than willing, more than helpful servers for help, if you try to empathize with the plight of others when they are hurting instead of forgetting about all the woes of the world, you’ll be shunned – all because you’re human and you make mistakes sometimes.
They work in a building that isn’t unique. Surrounded by artifacts of the America that was – from posters of the World’s Fair to “vintage” lithographs of famous people, all great and esteemed Americans in their own rights. In fact, next time you’re there, ask a manager if you can buy the picture of the women on the lemonade stand holding a sign that says “for sale” and after they run off their usual banter about how the sign isn’t for sale although they have to admit that if they saw that while sitting there they too might think it was because it is just ever so realistic and no- of course no one has ever said that to them before (and if they have in fact heard it before, you’re a part of a unique few (because that’s where the dollars lie, within those who feel as though they are being personally catered to)). Ask them where they got it, and provided that you aren’t talking to Suzy, any one will tell you the pictures came with the restaurant, loaded up in boxes. Maybe you’ll get those warm fuzzies and you’ll again think, just as you did when you were so confided in that you are a part of this unique group with which the manager “identifies” with, “wow, i really am that special.”
And say an alternate reality exists in which I get to keep my job – in fact, my performance so inspired my loving fan, Suzy, that I not only get to keep my job – I get a raise in hours. I will not lie, I cannot refuse the offer until I find another job to tide me over until I go full time at college in the fall. So don’t think of me as a hypocrite because really, I have no choice in the times we live in.
I hope you have enjoyed my rant and for the love of god, don’t tell Suzy.
So Rosie”e” complained to me a while ago that i shouldn’t post videos on myspace because thats not what bulletins are for. So i can’t rob you by posting them here!
I gotta say it. and i know all you manly men who don’t read my blog would hate me for this but i love abba. They’re so stunning. And as brooke and i talked about, Pierce Brosnan doesn’t even sound that bad when he sings this song on the movie version of Mamma Mia because his rugged elegance is just so incredibly overbearing that i really couldn’t care less that he was about a half step shy of hitting almost every note. no one’s perfect, and he’s a bold man for even trying. Sir, my hat goes off to you.
Well today truly has been an enigma. First, I was upset because i didn’t think I did my homework in Gov’t. I did it a couple days ago though so that was cool. And a few things happened at school that I can’t really remember but I’m sure they were horrible. oh yeah, one of those is: Cameron Miller is a dick. That’s all I have to say about that. oh and he plays metal drumbeats to soft, cheesy jazz tunes which is…cool?
But then I got home and I almost fell asleep playing Classical Gas again so I hobbled over to the computer because I haven’t been able to walk today because i went to the gym and i’m a really scrawny dude. I sat down and I got the following (but don’t tell anyone)
John Frusciante
Bruce Springsteen
Derek Trucks
Oh my jesus. I want to cry. Frusciante is beautiful. Springsteen is amazing (i got Ghost of Tom Joad w/ Morello from the show I saw last year which was dope) and Derek Trucks has gotten so much better on his latest album. Like, his songs are fun all of the sudden!!
Things are really lookin’ up in ‘09 but I have a bit of a musical wishlist that would make my year the…greatest year ever?
Frusciante tour, Springsteen V. 2, maybe i should buy the Derek Trucks tickets…., if Incubus or Ben Kenney released something i’d cry… I’d truly be happy, and amongst other things I hope Dan Auerbach’s solo album is good.. but not too good because i want to see more Black Keys shows in the future.
In other news: 6 more days…. and then you can kiss the Daily Show goodbye.
A few things are on my mind this night. The first, the anomoly of the &. Second, the wonders of the ecosneak. And thirdly, a piece that I have written that I would like to share with you all- as soon as i figure out how i can record the piece.
1. The “&” is very confusing to me as it seems to exist in the world of computering as its own entity entirely and yet it is still an abreviation of “and” which seems short enough as it is. If you are confused right now, you should be. Because what i found out a minute may destroy your mind. Or it may not. When a computer types in “&” it actually codes it differently than you might imagine. Did you know that computers insert “&” by typing in “&”? Isn’t there something horribly wrong with anything that has to say “&(&);” in order to realize that it should just be saying “&”? I mean really, save some time and just say “&” instead of “&” –that seems so very wrong.
2. I got ecosneaks today and I am super excited. There was a time in my life when i believed that the only form of shoe I could wear is the tried and true Macbeth shoe. And while i cannot say that I disown Macbeth for all the love I bestowed on their shoes, I can say that my ecosneaks are pretty rad-tacular. Whoever thought of them is a man/woman i’d like to meet. Check them out, read up on the fact that they use used snowtires to make the treads and all rubber parts for that matter.
3. I wrote a little song that is as of yet untitled and instrumental. I’m very proud of it because it is probably the most elaborate thing i’ve written and yet it is still coherent and fairly easily approachable but i have a couple obstacles to first overcome. 1. I must record the song 2. I have to layer it really carefully because I wrote harmonizing parts that require two or more guitars to play in perfect synch with one another or it’ll throw it off 3. I want to develop it into something more than an instrumental. But in my opinion, the basis for a good song lies in a good melody. Other artists have been more lyrically concerned such as Dylan and Cohen but i’ve always cared more about the sound because as exibited in “suzanne,” not every poet deserves a record deal. (I take that back because the dude wrote “Hallelujah” and I adore that song)
That Is All.
This is gonna sound a little melodramatic and please forgive me. In fact, if you are the kind of person who doesn’t have a soul then stop reading this right now. I’ll give you a second to find your way to the “back” button or if your mouse is closer, the “close” button.
Ready? not yet?
Okay, I’ve been suffering from something for a long time now and it’s become something of a festering sore to me because when I try to do something about it, I usually make it worse and it doesn’t seem to be able to rid itself of me. Have you ever known someone who is so incredible, so thoroughly enjoyable that you find it hard to be without them? The kind of person who even if you don’t entirely understand, you feel like you owe it to whatever good part of yourself you think deserves to grow in the benefit that the understanding of that other individual would grant you? I mean, I know this is really cheesy, a total cliche but it seems so inescapably redundant that it almost feels as though it would be dereft of meaning should it not fall into such lame catagorical generalizations as often typified by the assumption of a genre that is either “cheesy” or “cliched.”
But it got me thinking, anyway, that the worth of gifts can only ever amount to the value that we assign it. For example, a casual friend of yours – not one who is neither too close nor too distantly separated from yourself- buys you something really expensive, what part of you doesn’t want to scream at them for buying you this really lavish good when you only got them some small tolken, a semblance of your probable estimation of the magnitude of your friendship.
I’m not saying that everyone should be humble buyers (the market won’t allow me to say that for at least a few years till we’re out of this whole “economic crisis” or whatever it’s being called, I don’t know because I don’t have a real economics class) but i think it would be kinda cool if the spending wasn’t the issue and the gifting was more importantly. However, the cynic in us won’t allow us to believe in this because we think we know the value of money and we seem to think that its worth even more when you have to work to get it. So, the predicament I now find myself in:
Do you buy someone a gift who you know will not buy you anything?
I know it’s a horrible thought that we may be so basic that we must feel the need for a reciprocation of everything but i think it says a lot about who we are as humans. Am I going to buy a gift, spend the time, the thought, the effort, and eventually the money to invest in a relationship which may not show the same amount of consideration for me as I have for them? To be quite frank, I probably won’t. Because I think I know the worth of money.
To put it into a workable scenario, I go to work every day after school and spend the next two hours and fifteen minutes battling off sleep so that I can collect the sum of my labors two weeks later in the form of a check with a corresponding amount. Over the past two weeks, I have spent 17.25 of my hours after school battling myself as i juggle school, the stress of having two jobs, and my own personal issues and ambitions all so I can have a little bit of money. A little bit of the things that I like to do, when I feel like doing them, at whatever cost I feel like doing it at. Those are the freedoms I get in return for the work – just a little bit more (and a lot less) control. So while I sacrifice all this time and effort to get this bit of money, most people my age don’t do anything and get the cash thrown at them from their parents who work to the bone so they can feed the family and of course pay for their child’s ever growing expenses. So when I go out and buy you something for whatever holiday you celebrate, just remember that what I have bought you isn’t just a semblance of my compassion towards you – it’s backed by a shitty ton of extra work that i bring upon myself so that i can do that for you.
I don’t want to make anyone feel bad about this or anything and this isn’t my way of saying “if i get you something you damn well better get something for me” because that’s really not what I care about – just maybe a little bit of gratitude. As christmas seems to be all too rapidly approaching and my family has bought almost nothing for one another this year, I think maybe we should all start thinking about the value of what we already have because Christmas is only a sentiment – it isn’t about presents, it isn’t about religion (because it’s a Pagan holiday anyway), it’s about you and me. And i want that to sound cheesy.
Happy Holidays,
Ben.
P.S. Christmas present ideas for yourself? send me them, i want to reimburse you for being so great.
bensweeney23@gmail.com (and yes, I’m serious)
